While reading the letter from the people who hurt her, Audrey is obliged to go back to the location where everything was stolen from her. Yet the things beyond that door are more serious than regret; they are a reckoning. Sometimes, a reunion is hard and challenging. Others make it clear what it means to recover.
I didn’t have much experience in life because I was only 18. My parents, Maggie and Caleb, threw me out of our home right when I confessed to being gay.
Nobody flew over to check if I was doing okay. They didn’t want to learn my stage in the pregnancy. They paid no attention to the fact that I was only twelve and really scared. They only said I should pack and leave without explaining.
Danny, who is my boyfriend and my best friend, supported me during every hard time. Their parents weren’t overjoyed about the news, but didn’t react in shock. My mom was able to get me a job as a waitress at his uncle’s restaurant. Danny’s dad made sure he stayed at the auto parts store for additional hours.
We were often required to work evenings, on weekends, and on holidays. I was working so hard that both my ankles and back hurt a lot. We put aside every penny we could manage as a team for the baby.
Sure, we did not have many things. But we found solace in having love and hope. And together? It was quite sufficient.
For a long time, my parents bothered me and made my life difficult. At no point had I even considered getting an abortion, but that’s where it came to my mind. They went on to say that they would go through with an adoption process.
Once, my father took Danny home from work and tried to brawl on the street with him. At the mall, my mother started accusing Danny’s mom of helping teenagers misbehave and stole her bag of bagels.
I stopped contact from them by blocking their numbers. My parents-in-law told me to be strong throughout the ordeal.
Audrey, you have something special developing at your place. The little one is already larger than we are…
The next thing to happen was a phone call out of the blue.
My mother was named Maggie. Her singling voice had a unique feature to it.
Margaret did not want to see both Audrey and her baby hurt. Come back home to me, baby. We can do this collaboratively. We want to become grandparents. We have had time to look back at what happened. We’re ready.”
Of course, I was a little worried. Yet, I was feeling hopeful, as well. Danny was more careful, but to tell the truth … Both of us were very tired. Life went from graduating from high school to working all the time. Peace was what we needed.
We required a little break.
Perhaps, they are beginning to become wiser after all, says Danny’s mom. This situation can improve if you both start rebuilding the bridge. Having many family members isn’t a problem for our baby.
I smiled. I enjoyed the words she chose to use. She was able to hide the truth in a gentle manner.
Therefore, I went back again.
I was eating chicken noodle soup at their place when I started labor. My parents brought me by car to the hospital. I found out that the police could not contact Danny or his relatives.
We will keep going, Audrey! this was how my mother expressed herself. Try to continue focusing on how you are breathing. Deep breaths. Nice going, dear!
They lied. This happened more than just one time. But so in a way that takes away the best years. The same way your story is written in words you did not consent to.
Right after giving birth, I held my baby boy, who was still wet and looked around squinting. It was clear on his face and from his noise that he wasn’t happy to be at the show.
I whispered to him sweetly, “Welcome, love,” so that he would calm down before I could feel back in my body. I sensed that I was getting shaky. Still, I was fully prepared for a bad outcome. By then, Danny and I had learned a good amount about the subject.
Here,” she said as she put a clipboard in my hand. I indicated that the nurse was supposed to take my baby.
“What’s that?” I asked. Danny ought to decide to sign. Is he around yet?
My mother responded by shaking her head No.
They were just hospital forms, Audrey, not anything else, she added seriously. “Standard stuff. Feel free to sign with us and we will look after you. This is something Danny should have done. No one yet knows, but only the Lord is aware of his whereabouts.
I have not read those books. I just took that for granted. I was completely out of energy, I was still ‘wired’, and it only made my hands tremble even more. It was difficult for me to grip the pen.
I remember being very sad, remembering my boy’s weight in my arms as well as struggling to sense my feet. I can recall how the smell of blood blended with the spotless atmosphere of the hospital.
At that time, it was total uncontrolled chaos.
I put my signature where she had directed me to sign.
They were in fact adoption papers. And all at once, he was gone.
My last chance to love him by kissing him or whispering to him was taken away from me. My son’s warmth left before I had even noticed what had happened.
Leaveing the hospital, I was empty. He felt his whole world shattered into pieces.
I didn’t decide to go back to their place. Right away, I talked to Danny and his parents, three individuals who did not know what was happening. I did not have the ability to speak. I did not know how to describe. It felt as if all the energy in me left my body.
I wrung out my tears into Danny’s shoulder before I had nothing left. As soon as my head cleared, I knew that we had to grieve a child we’d never get to be parents to.
We got married when Danny and I were 22 years old. Most importantly, the ceremony was simple, just a courthouse event followed by a family barbecue at his parents’ house. My husband and I chose to enjoy champagne and cupcakes and brownies instead of having a traditional wedding cake.
A year after, Noah joined us by becoming our second child.
The tough memories from the first birth were very difficult for my husband to handle this time around. He eagerly wanted to be present during the birth. My husband’s mother is very important to us and I wanted her to be there as well. With our child’s dad and siblings acting like security guards in the lobby, our little one was always protected.
Overkill? Maybe.
Still, having peace of mind was very important to us. We required safety and stability.
Later on, I had four more babies: Noah, Layla, Jonah, and baby Iris. We love our pets far more than we can ever explain with words. However, we always missed the person we lost.
For birthdays, we gave our son full attention whenever he would come around.
Danny normally bought a Matchbox car. I would make a rhubarb sponge pudding. Since my husband doesn’t enjoy cake, I expected our firstborn son to feel the same. After putting a candle in the sponge, we yelled happy birthday and captured a photo of it.
Maybe it was a stupid idea. It is possible that it left the wound still open. But this was our way to display our love in spite of the silence.
Some twenty-four years had passed before a letter appeared.
That is not sent via email. It should not be a recording. The envelope has my father’s name and his handwriting, which looked the same as it did on the notes I would look at each day when he was away.
This situation made me very uneasy. I hadn’t made contact or even seen my family in about twenty years. None of this came after I failed to locate my son.
Danny opened the letter, read its contents only once, and then gave it to me without saying anything. It was as if all the energy had been knocked out of him; he just sat down on the couch.
Audrey, we want to tell you some significant news. Bring Danny along with you please. It’s time.”
All the text stated was the above.
There needs to be no apology for being “the worst humans” to Audrey.
There is no explanation given. A law statement disguised as emotions. I didn’t want to participate. I said to Danny that swallowing buckshot sounds easier than spending another minute near them. On the other hand, my husband didn’t lose his cool.
Too calm.
Why don’t we go, sweetheart? Providing more benefits to our children, rather than to others. We have lots of questions, Audrey, and maybe we’ll find out some answers.”
I did not answer. However, during the next two days, we gathered outside their house.
Nothing changed in the house. There was still the stale aroma of dust and beat-up carpets. Maggie was resting on the couch in the living room, looking very thin and pale as a nearby oxygen tank ticked time. Caleb wore a straight posture as if waiting for something serious to happen.
We did not get a smile from either of them when we walked in.
Mag says, “Audrey.” It looks like you’ve grown older.
I simply didn’t respond. Naturally, I did not look like a child anymore. Twenty four years passed before they met. Being behind me, Danny acted like a quiet ally.
She told me that she wanted to see me before I left. You should understand that what happened between us was the correct choice. You were raised as children. Raising a newborn isn’t something you are capable of.
I couldn’t help but catch my breath at this moment.
You’re going to die, I stated. Despite what you went through, you still believe in your own decisions now?
“He was given a fair chance,” argued Caleb, putting his arms across his chest.
No, you stole what was ours, said Danny.
As we were still talking, the door at the front of the house opened behind us.
I looked back, and there was he was.
His name was Mason.
Noah’s life and characteristics were a representation of an elder Shem. Both Danny and Snake had hair that was dark and naturally curly. His eyes looked very much like mine. He seemed much taller than how I had pictured him. Broader. On some level, he had a youthful quality to his actions. But there was something friendly in his smile.
When he came over, he said hello.
I was unable to express myself with words. I couldn’t take a single breath. I simply stood and looked at how amazing he was. The manager slowly walked over, went up to Danny, and hugged him first. Then me.
I was sure I was about to collapse just as I had those years earlier. This time, I was able to handle the emotions. I put my arms around him.
I found out that my parents were regularly in touch with the couple who adopted my son. They wrote letters to each other every now and then. They must have known it was happening. They have now asked Mason over to their home so we could meet.
Then, he talked to Maggie and Caleb about what happened during the celebration.
He said: “I came here so I could meet you.” Not due to the fact that I missed you. You were never part of what I experienced in life.
Maggie gave the feeling that she had been slapped.
According to Mason, he was fortunate. I would say that my parents who adopted me were good people. Loving. Gentle. They gave me all the support I needed. What if those events hadn’t taken place in the first place? Imagine that you passed me over to someone who did not care for or mistreated me? What if the firm chose to part ways with me at some point?
No sound could be heard in the room.
I saved myself. My biological grandparents gambled on the results of my development. You did not deserve that treatment at all.
My mother took a second to think and then stayed quiet. Next, her voice gave out and she could not continue talking.
She said, “I’m very sorry.”
Mason nodded.
He put his hand in mine.
I gazed straight into her eyes while talking to her.
You wished for a state of peace. I said to her, “We have it.” However, believing that because of sin doesn’t mean I have forgiven you.
We turned around to walk out. Mason turned and glanced behind him, and then came out with us.
That same night, we sat outside Danny’s house, on the back porch, and our laughter rang out like a kind of music we missed for a long time.
As we were seated, Mason fit in between us by keeping his knees wide and placing his hands on the armrests. It happened in a natural and effortless way. He seemed to be the same as he had always been.
I know, he said, as he looked at me. That you cared enough about me to stick with me. I know why parents decided to move. I was told the honest truth by my adopted parents. They admitted that they understand your parents forced you to make that choice, Audrey.
My name came out of his mouth as he winced. I wasn’t able to guess why he was acting this way.
Since they wanted a child very badly, they finished their paperwork and moved on after that. The idea was never questioned by them. As a result, the girl became theirs.
Mason, I so wished you were here with me, I admitted. It was the pain that brought me the furthest down in my life. I had a desire to help more, but my health couldn’t allow it. I agreed to the contract by signing the papers. I was in a situation where I had lost every single right I had.
Yes, he told me again. “I know.”
Is another night here valuable for you? I asked him later on, being sure not to express too much optimism in what I said.
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